The one ... the one, that tastes good

                                                                   Gayatri

"I want to eat that ... the one round in shape" he stuttered it to me.

"Yeah, tell me what do you want to eat" I encouraged my husband and asked.

"The one that you make from flour, and it blows up like a balloon." 

"Are you starving? Do you want to eat chapatis ? I asked and he nodded in response.

"You make yourself comfortable in the chair, I will get the dinner arranged within few minutes." 

During lunch and dinner, I always asked him, "What is this? please tell me" and he responded every time saying "It's the one we eat, and it tastes good", but he was unable to pronounce the word chapati.

He put the fingers on curry and said " It is very tasty."

I again asked "What is tasty?"

"This is ... " He pointed towards the curry again.

Loneliness made me think always about the turn my life had taken. I only had a small dream, that after his retirement, we would go to the "Teerth Yatra". But we had to cancel the reservations. On the day of retirement he came home carrying Service Letter, Garlands, Sweets and Shawl. He appeared to be very weak and tired, then I asked his colleagues who came to drop him, they said he had a heart attack. I collapsed listening to this and seeing my husband like this. Since that day, nights were stretched too long and days appeared very far. He got a disease related to speech, for some particular words, only his eyes speaks. It seemed that he understood everything, but unable to give them the words. It tore me apart seeing him like this. He used to hold a lot of knowledge. 

In the beginning he used to say that I was not good enough for his circle as I was illiterate and didn't have knowledge. He used to scold me for this. I was from a village and here in the city it took me some time to understand things, people and the culture, but slowly I learnt all those things, so that he didn't have any complaints. I learnt to live the way he wanted me to live and then everything got normal.

                                                                        Suraj

"That .. that .. give it to me please." I asked my wife Gayatri.

"What is that?" She asked me.

"The one that we use after bath"

"What we use after bath?"

"Now please give it to me, don't ask much questions, it is hanging there outside." At last gayatri gave me towel. What is happening to me ? I can see, hear and understand everything, and still can't pronounce few words. How it has happened? And why it's me only.

I had done M.A. when only few people were B.A.  I was working as a librarian and whenever any students or teacher mentioned book's name or it's content or the initials of the author, I tell them where the book is, without even looking at the index card. And now ? I am like a 5 year old child, if some one asks me what is this, showing "book", I can't tell even, it's book. My wife Gayatri had to face many problems because of me. That gayatri, whom I scold for every small  things. She made silly mistakes, she didn't know the uses of words at proper places, and because of all such things I got mad at her. But it was all my fault, when I looked at God in the temple then asked only one thing, "Did you give me this disease, so that I understand where I was wrong and show my mistake. Why didn't you give me the wisdom earlier so that I would have behaved well with my wife."

                                                                  Gayatri

"There is a cool breeze flowing outside, come we will have a short walk. Where do you want to go for a walk?" I asked

"That side ....where .... the bell rings."

"Towards temple ?" And he nodded giving a full jerk to his head.

We were walking towards the temple and I was collecting the coins from the past. I was 16 years old when we got married. No one from relatives understood, what is librarian, even I couldn't pronounce it and understood it. Once I asked him "What is your profession and where do you work?" but I didn't get sufficient answer for my question. He told "You won't understand it, it's none of your business and why do you want to know?"

While we were walking towards the temple road, suddenly he hold my hand and pulling me to the other side of the road, may be he wanted to show something.

"Navneet, how are you ?" I asked

"I am good aunt. Shukla sir namaskar, do you remember, I am your favorite student." Navneet said

He was looking at him with surprise, Navneet was a poor boy studying in a college and he helped him to get the education, and now he is an officer. He respects him a lot, but he forgot everything about navneet and about the old time. Navneet told me " Aunt, we still have time, why don't you consult some language therapist, it may take time to recover fully, but I believe, sir will be all right soon.

                                                                  Suraj

Dr. Lal is a very good man, he always smiles. He did every test of mine and took deep details from Gayatri about my disease. He told Gayatri that "Man is blessed with speaking ability, and he uses it to communicate the ideas and thoughts with other man. Aphasia is a disorder caused by damage to the parts of the brain that control language, it can make hard to read, write and say what the person mean to say. It is of four types, Expressive aphasia, receptive aphasia, anomic aphasia, global aphasia. Ms Gayatri, it seems that your husband is having Expressive aphasia(difficulty in expressing) as well as Anomic aphasia(difficulty in speaking). You people have come on time, and it is a good chance that your husband will get recover soon." 

"Dr. Saa'b, please write some medicines/tonics." Gayatri said

"Gayatri Ji, medicines/tonics/injections won't be of any help here. Only speech therapy will help in this case. I am referring to Mr. Shukla a good speech therapist, one or two visits will not help, you need to go for few months and practice that at home also."

Gayatri took me to the therapist that day only. Speech therapist Mr. Shreenath, took my class for almost 1.5 hour, I got tired after that, but it increases my enthusiasm. He had put lots of paintings, cards in front of me, and asked "What is it?, what its name?" I was feeling like a KG 1 student. But after continuous struggle and practice, I realized one thing, the importance of various special things of our brain, and we feel this importance only when, we lose them.

Mr. Shreenath gave some homework also, and told "Seeing your good grasping power and your wife's commitment, I believe that you will recover within 3-4 months." I was so happy while going towards home, that I kissed my wife.

"What are you doing, driver will watch from mirror" She said

"That .. that .. what you say ...that ... everyone does, and it feels good." I said

"Then tell, you are loving me" She said and blushed like, she used to when she came home after marriage and was 16 years old.